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Adolescence: That period when children feel their parents should be told the facts of life.

Age Definitions

Jim Rosenthal to an American goalie: So what’s an American doing playing in goal for Millwall.

The goalie’s reply: I’m trying to keep the ball out.

Colemanballs

That room was so small you couldn’t cuss a cat without gettting fur in your mouth!

Expressions

Marital Freedom: The liberty that allows a husband to do exactly that which his wife pleases.

Definitions Marriage

Kin: An affliction of the blood.

Definitions Family

I wished the buck stopped here, as I could use a few.

Communication Language Money

Make money and the whole nation will conspire to call you a gentleman.

Characteristics Money

Statesman: A politician who is held upright by equal pressure from all directions.

Definitions Politicians

This is an awfully big elephant to eat.

Mixed metaphors

Bum: A man-about-town.

Definitions

I'm hungry enough to eat cats and dogs.

Mixed metaphors

Slogan: A good old American substitute for the facts.

Definitions

“I have writer’s block,” said Tom contritely.

Tom Swifties

Education: A technique employed to open minds so that they may go from cocksure ignorance to thoughtful uncertainty.

Definitions Education

If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, they’re probably broke.

Emotions Love Money

Adolescence is the time in life when a youngster is well informed about anything he doesn’t have to study.

Age

Prostitute: A busy body.

Definitions

We all have our own legs to pull.

Mixed metaphors

Diet: Something you keep putting off while you keep putting on.

Definitions Food/Drink

He’s got more dollars than cents.

Expressions Intelligence

Doctor: Someone who practices medicine but charges as if he knew.

Definitions Doctors Health