Subject: Appearance » Body

A bag of tattooed bones in a sequined slingshot.

Richard Blackwell (1922 – 2008) fashion critic, journalist, & designer

Do I lift weights? … Sure, every time I stand up.

(1946 – ) singer, songwriter, author & actress

A little incompatibility is the spice of life, as long as he has income and she is pattable.

(1902 – 1971) American humorist & poet

He's a trellis for varicose veins.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter

Dirty blonde … I made myself platinum, but I was born a dirty blonde.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol

He had one eye, and the popular prejudice runs in favor of two.

(1812 – 1870) English novelist

Belly: The veranda over the toy shop.

I recently had my annual physical examination, which I get once every seven years, and when the nurse weighed me, I was shocked to discover how much stronger the Earth's gravitational pull has become since 1990.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist

He is so fat… when he joined Overeaters Anonymous and they make him a chapter.

Honey, beside me, you look like Tony Randall!

(1933 – 1967) American actress, entertainer & Hollywood sex symbol

I’ve seen some players with very big feet, and some with very small feet.

English football player, manager & sports commentator

A figure with curves always offers a lot of interesting angles.

All the men in my family are bald, and all the women are hunchbacked – and they don’t know we’re bald.


She was so ugly that when I bent down to pet her cat it turned out to be the hair on her legs.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor

Cleavage: Something which excites disapproval in everyone but the audience.

Men who can eat anything they want and not gain weight should do it out of sight of women.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer

Never trust a man with short legs… his brain's too near his bottom.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter

Nowadays, a balanced diet is when every McNugget weighs the same!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine

He looked very thin and emancipated.

I’m the female equivalent of a counterfeit $20 bill; half of what you see is a pretty good reproduction, the rest is a fraud.

(1946 – ) American recording artist, actress, director & record producer

Whoever named it necking is a poor judge of anatomy.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
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