Subject: Appearance » Body

I'm just a person trapped in a woman's body.

(1952 – ) comedian

A figure with curves always offers a lot of interesting angles.

I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director

Nowadays, a balanced diet is when every McNugget weighs the same!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine

He has left his body to science… and science is contesting the will.

(1939 – ) British journalist, comedian, writer & media personality

You'd be surprised how much it costs to look this cheap!

(1946 – ) singer, songwriter, author & actress

I knew a girl so ugly, I took her to the top of the Empire State building and planes started to attack her.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor

Not one man in a beer commercial has a beer belly.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer

You know your girlfriend is getting fat when she can fit into your wife's clothes.

(1964 – ) American stand-up comedian

Looking at cleavage is like looking at the sun. You don’t stare at it. It’s too risky. Ya get a sense of it and then you look away.

(1954 – ) comedian & television actor

I went to the 30th reunion of my preschool; I didn’t want to go, because I’ve put on like a hundred pounds.

(1961 – ) American stand-up comedian

She is a peacock in everything but beauty.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet

Elizabeth Taylor's so fat she puts mayonnaise on aspirin.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director

Elly has more curves than a goat-path.

(1908 – 2003) American actor & dancer

I used to think that the brain was the most wonderful organ in my body; then I realized who was telling me this.

(1956 – ) American comedian

If you want to find guys with small penises, go to the Hummer dealership.

(1966 – ) American stand-up comedian, television writer/producer & radio host

Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor

Your dresses should be tight enough to show you're a woman and loose enough to show you're a lady.

(1898 – 1981) American costume designer

The chief excitement in a woman's life is spotting women who are fatter than she is.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist

I would give my left nut for a really nice guitar… I don't actually play the guitar, but I have three testicles.

(1981 – ) American comedian, writer & actor

Curve: The loveliest distance between two points.

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