Subject: Appearance » Body

I didn't discover curves; I only uncovered them.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol

Reducing: Wishful shrinking.

I got the classic Italian male body; I got the ass of a 270-pound man and the chest of a small Romanian gymnast.

(1953 – ) American comedian & writer

Nowadays, a balanced diet is when every McNugget weighs the same!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine

After thirty, a body has a mind of its own.

(1945 – ) singer, actress & comedian

I suppose you know you have a wonderful body; I’d like to do it in clay.

(1925 – ) American singer & actress

Anatomy: A class that sounds vaguely risqué until you find out what it really involves.

Blondes make the best victims; they're like virgin snow that shows up the bloody footprints.

(1899 – 1980) English filmmaker & producer

Most of the people who came for dancing lessons had Rumba ambitions and minuet bodies.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor

He is so fat… when he ran away, they had to use all four sides of the milk carton.

Professional model: cheekbones that sell cosmetics; hipbones that sell anorexia.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter

He must have had a magnificent build before his stomach went in for a career of its own.

(1910 – 1997) American writer

You may admire a girl's curves on the first introduction, but the second meeting shows up new angles.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol

He has left his body to science… and science is contesting the will.

(1939 – ) British journalist, comedian, writer & media personality

My body has no sexual meaning anymore, so if I can make people laugh with it, at least it's being used.

Louis Szekely (1967 – ) American comedian, writer, actor & director

I wear my heart on my sleeve… I wear my liver on my pant leg.


You never see a man walking down the street with a woman who has a little potbelly and a bald spot.

(1952 – ) comedian

You might be a redneck if… the Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your wife.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

The other night a mugger took off his mask and made me wear it.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor

She had curves in places other women don’t even have places.

(1950 – ) American actress, singer & model

My husband said ‘Show me your boobs.’ and I had to pull up my skirt… so it was time to get them done!

(1946 – ) singer, songwriter, author & actress