Author: Anonymous Page 5

A veritable land mine of valuable information.

Malaprops

They live so deep in the woods they kept possums as yard dogs.

Animals Expressions Places Situations

It's hotter than the hinges on the gates of hell.

Expressions Heat Science/Weather

You could start an argument in an empty house.

Characteristics Expressions

A rolling stone gathers no moths.

Malaprops

A good marriage is like a casserole, only those responsible for it really know what goes in it.

Food/Drink Marriage

“I’m wearing my wedding ring,” said Tom with abandon.

Tom Swifties

Winter: The time of year when it gets later earlier.

Definitions Science/Weather

Noise: Earitation.

Definitions

Some folks are so highly educated they can bore you on any subject.

Education

Constant change is here to stay.

Situations

Whistle: Wind having a narrow escape.

Definitions

You've buttered your bread, now lie in it.

Mixed metaphors

“This is mutiny!” said Tom bountifully.

Tom Swifties

You have to shoot where the fish are barking.

Mixed metaphors

I can’t make these split-minute decisions.

Mixed metaphors

Clergyman: A man who undertakes the management of our spiritual affairs as a method of bettering his temporal ones.

Definitions Occupations

She is so stupid… she took a blood test and failed.

Exaggerations Intelligence Stupidity

The cost of the hairdo is directly related to the strength of the wind.

Appearance Hair Murphy’s Laws

But I don't have an intricate relationship with it.

Malaprops

You go to a psychiatrist when you’re slightly cracked and keep going until you’re completely broke.

Occupations Work