Subject: Age (Page 9)

By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere.

(1948 – ) comedian, actor, writer, producer & film director
Age Old

She is such a good friend that she would throw all her acquaintances into the water for the pleasure of fishing them out again.

(1754 – 1838) French prime minister & diplomat
Friends Old People

You know you're old if your walker has an airbag.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Age Old

Before borrowing from a friend, decide which you need most.

Friends Money People Young

You ever drive around with an old person who knows where everything didn't used to be?

American stand-up comedian
Age Intelligence Memory Old

Although it is generally known, I think it’s about time to announce that I was born at a very early age.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Age Young

I’m like old wine; they don't bring me out very often, but I’m well preserved.

(1890 – 1995) American philanthropist & wife of Joseph P. Kennedy, Sr.
Age Old

Always be nice to those younger than you, because they are the ones who will be writing about you.

(1903 – 1974) English intellectual, literary critic & writer
Age Characteristics Reading/Writing

Your best friends are those who speak well of you behind your back.

(1920 – 2001) American writer & humorist
Age Friends People

She is so old… she used to baby-sit Jesus.

Age Exaggerations Old

You still chase women, but only downhill.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Dating Old

Adults are always asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up because they're looking for ideas.

(1959 – ) American comedian
Age Children Ideas

You know you’re getting older when you don’t care where your wife goes, just so you don’t have to go along

Age Marriage Old Wives

When you are about 35 years old, something terrible always happens to music.

(1921 – 2009) British composer, pianist and radio & television presenter
Age Entertainment Music

Mothers are fonder than fathers of their children because they are more certain they are their own.

(384 BC – 322 BC) Greek philosopher
Age Children Family Fathers Mothers

You want to look younger… rent smaller children.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Age Appearance Children Young

I was born when my dad was 50; it’s weird growing up with a dad that much older than you… we’d go to the movies and we’re both getting discounts.

(1970 –) American stand-up comedian
Age Family Fathers

When people tell you how young you look, they are also telling you how old you are

(1904 – 1986) English-American actor
Age Appearance Old

Younger and younger, our children are seeing the sippy-cup as half empty.

(1970 – ) American stand-up comedian & voice actor
Age Young

I was born nine months premature.

(1966 – ) American stand-up comic
Age Situations Time

I’ve always said that in politics, your enemies can’t hurt you, but your friends will kill you.

(1933 – 2006) politician
Friends Old People