Subject: Age (Page 9)

You don’t have to suffer to be a poet; adolescence is enough suffering for anyone.

(1916 – 1986) American poet, translator & etymologist

She's all done up like a well-kept grave.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer

Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew Up

He is so old… his social security number is 6.

You know, you get that tattoo of barbed wire when you’re 18, but by the time you’re 80, it’s a picket fence.

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor

No matter how calmly you try to referee, parenting will sometimes produce bizarre behavior… and I’m not talking about the kids.

(1937 – ) comedian & television actor

Any child who chatters nonstop at home will adamantly refuse to utter a word when requested to demonstrate for an audience.

The older you get the stronger the wind gets… and it's always in your face.

(1940 – ) professional golfer

They tell you that you’ll lose your mind when you grow older; what they don’t tell you is that you won’t miss it much.


It is better to waste one’s youth than to do nothing with it at all.

(1858 – 1929) French dramatist, novelist & satirist

She is so old… she was the waitress at the last supper.

He is so old… he owes Jesus a quarter.

Middle age is when you've met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else… and usually is.

(1902 – 1971) American humorist & poet

I know I want to have children while my parents are still young enough to take care of them.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer

It’s wonderful to meet so many friends that I didn’t used to like.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager

You know you're getting old when you start to dress in more than six colors.

(1936 – 2014) American standup comedian, actor & author

Looking fifty is great – if you’re sixty.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director

Middle age is that perplexing time of life when we hear two voices calling us, one saying, "Why not?" and the other, "Why bother?"

(1917 –1986) American journalist

The years that a woman subtracts from her age are not lost… they are added to the ages of other women.


(1499 – 1566) French noblewoman & prominent courtier

Time and Tide wait for no man, but time always stands still for a woman of thirty.

(1874 – 1963) American poet

What's the advantage of having a kid at 49?… you can both be in diapers at the same time?

stand-up comedian