Subject: Appearance (Page 29)

Merely because the group is in formation does not mean that the group is on the right course.

Appearance Murphy’s Laws

So crosseyed, she could look at her own head.

Appearance Expressions

She was so ugly she could make a mule back away from an oat bin.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Appearance Insults

When I die, I’m leaving my body to science fiction.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Appearance Body Death People Self

There are two reasons why I’m in show business, and I’m standing on both of them.

(1916 – 1973) American actress, dancer, singer & pin-up girl
Appearance Body Entertainment

She spends her day powdering her face till she looks like a bled pig.

(1864 –1945) Anglo-Scottish socialite, author & wit
Appearance Body Insults

Everything you see, I owe to spaghetti.

(1934 – ) Italian actress
Appearance Body Food/Drink Self

Maternity sweater, $52. Comes in unisex sizes.

Classifieds Clothing

I don’t want to lose weight; my tongue and my taste buds are the only friends I got.

American stand-up comedian
Appearance Body Fat Friends People Young

Relax, Georgie, I'm just making my collar and cuffs match.

(1908 – 1942) American actress
Appearance Body

He [looks like] an umbrella left behind at a picnic.

(1852 – 1933) Irish writer, poet, art critic & dramatist
Appearance Insults

Common looking people are the best in the world: that is the reason the Lord makes so many of them.

(1809 – 1865) 16th U.S. president
Appearance People

You know the message you’re sending out to the world with these sweatpants? You’re telling the world, ‘I give up.’

(1954 – ) comedian & television actor
Appearance Clothing TV/Movie Quotes

There has ceased to be a difference between my awake clothes and my asleep clothes.

(1979 – ) American actress, comedian & writer
Appearance Clothing

High heels were invented by a woman who had been kissed on the forehead.

(1890 – 1957) author & journalist
Appearance Body Clothing Women

He looked very thin and emancipated.

Appearance Body Malaprops

Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Appearance Clothing Science/Weather

The quartermaster has only two sizes, too large and too small.

Clothing Military Murphy’s Laws

I’ve had so much plastic surgery, when I die they will donate my body to Tupperware.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Appearance Body Self

Smilin’ like a goat in a briarpatch

Appearance Expressions

My wife has just two complaints: first, she’s got absolutely nothing to wear and second, she’s run out of closet space to keep it in.

Appearance Clothing Wives