Subject: Characteristics (Page 34)

Jews can't serve on juries because they insist they're guilty.

American stand-up comedian, television writer & actor
Characteristics Law

Some persons are likable in spite of their unswerving integrity.

(1878 – 1937) humorist, journalist & author
Characteristics Honesty People

As soon as you mention something, if it's good, it goes away; if it's bad, it happens.

Characteristics Communication Murphy’s Laws Speech

Hypocrisy is the Vaseline of social intercourse.

Characteristics Murphy’s Laws

Tact is making your company feel at home, even though you wish they were.


Characteristics

Show me a woman with both feet planted firmly on the ground – and I'll show you a girl who can't get her knickers off.

(1958 – ) Australian author
Characteristics People Women

Telling lies does not work in advertising.

(1909 – 1966) Polish poet, writer & aphorist
Characteristics Honesty Lies

You are so lazy if you had a third hand, you’d need a third pocket to put it in.

Characteristics Expressions

Mercy: An attribute beloved of detected offenders.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics Communication Definitions Language

In some situations I was difficult, in odd moments impossible, in rare moments loathsome, but at my best unapproachably great.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Characteristics People Self

Smoking cures weight problems… eventually.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Activities Body Characteristics Death Fat

One should never trust a woman who tells one her real age.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Age Characteristics Honesty People Truth Women

Don't put off till tomorrow what can be enjoyed today.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Characteristics Time

Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Characteristics

I’m not a very competitive person… I’m always the first to say it.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Characteristics

Badness comes in waves.

Characteristics Murphy’s Laws

Though familiarity may not breed contempt, it takes off the edge of admiration.

(1778 – 1830) English writer, essayist, critic, grammarian & philosopher
Characteristics

A witness shall not bear falsies against thy neighbor.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Characteristics Lies

Since a politician never believes what he says, he is quite surprised to be taken at his word.

(1890 – 1970) French president, general & statesman
Characteristics Government Honesty Politicians Truth

I have nothing but confidence in you, and very little of that.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Characteristics Insults

They say Flintstone's vitamins are chewable; all vitamins are chewable, it's just that they taste shitty.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Characteristics Food/Drink