Subject: Health (Page 20)

I occasionally get love sick…well, they call it chlamydia.

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor
Health

Specialist: A doctor whose patients are expected to confine their ailments to office hours.

Definitions Doctors Health

I have the woman-flu, which is like the manflu but worse because I also regularly have periods and I get paid less.

Danish comedian
Health Men People Women

My body is dropping so fast, my gynecologist wears a hard hat.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Age Body Doctors Old

The thing that would bother me most would be a dog smoking a cigar.

(1921 – 2000) comedian, television host, musician, actor & writer
Health

Doctor: A guy who tells you if you don’t cut out something he’ll cut something out of you.

Definitions Doctors Health

It's better to be rich and healthy than poor and sick.

Health Money Murphy’s Laws Wealth

Oh, last week was a rough week, I noticed my gums were shrinking… I was brushing my teeth with Preparation H.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Health Situations

I have kleptomania; but when it gets bad, I take something for it.

(1927 – 2018) British comedian, singer & songwriter
Health

Insanity in individuals is something rare – but in groups, parties, nations and epochs, it is the rule.

(1844 – 1900) German philosopher
Government Health People

Like the measles, love is most dangerous when it comes late in life.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Health Life

Schizophrenia beats dining alone.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Health Wordplay

If you have over forty eyes and have noticed how your vision has changed…

Classifieds Health

What am I drinking? … NyQuil on the rocks, for when you're feeling sick but sociable.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Alcohol Food/Drink Health

Hypochondriac: Someone who enjoys bad health.

Definitions Health

A neurosis is a secret you don’t know you’re keeping.

(1927 – 1980) English theatre critic & writer
Health

If you have s stomach ache, in France you get a suppository, in Germany a health spa, in the United States they cut your stomach open and in Britain they put you on a waiting list.

(1955 – ) English politician
Health Places

Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you.

(1875 – 1961) Swiss psychiatrist & founder of analytical psychology
Health

Doctor: The only man who hasn’t a guaranteed cure for a cold.

Definitions Doctors Health

I'm the boy in the bubble without the bubble.

(1966 – ) American stand-up comedian & actor
Health

If you’re feeling good, don’t worry… you’ll get over it.

Health Murphy’s Laws