Subject: Health (Page 20)

Psychiatrists: People with the same problems as anyone else, but with an accent.

Definitions Doctors Health

Only adults have difficulty with child-proof bottles.

Health Murphy’s Laws People

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places; he told me to quit going to those places.

(1906 – 1998) English-born American comedian
Doctors Health Places

Did you know babies are nauseated by the smell of a clean shirt?

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Children Clothing Family Health

I read today that 10 out of 2 people are dyslectic.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Health

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four, unless there were three other people.

(1915 – 1985) stage & film actor & director
Doctors Eating Food/Drink

Groinocologist

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Doctors Health Malaprops

Bill Walton is incredible; if you drop a toothpick on his foot, he'll have a stress fracture.

American basketball coach
Basketball Health Sports

I have an inferiority complex, it’s just not a very good one.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Health

Be careful about reading health books for you may die of a misprint.

(1747 – 1803) German Jewish physician & lecturer on philosophy
Books Communication Death Health Reading/Writing

I’m not feeling very well – I need a doctor immediately; ring the nearest golf course.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Doctors Golf Health Sports

Nurses: Patient people.

Definitions Health Occupations

I can't tell you his age, but when he was born the wonder drug was Mercurochrome.

(1908 – 2002) comedian, radio & television actor
Age Health Old Things

What a childhood I had. My parents sent me to a child psychiatrist. The kid didn’t help me at all.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Doctors Family Health

If medicine has made so much progress in the last 30 years, how come I felt better 30 years ago?

(1935 – 2012) American football player, sports announcer & actor
Health

Did God who gave us flowers and trees

Also provide the allergies?

(1898 – 1981) American song lyricist
Health

Hypochondria is the only disease I haven’t got.

Health

When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Age Health Old Places

If I ever had twins, I’d use one for parts.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Children Health

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don’t want, drink what you don’t like, and do what you’d druther not.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Health

Finish last in your league and they call you idiot; finish last in medical school and they call you doctor.

(1922 – 2002) American college basketball coach
Doctors Health Occupations Sports Work