Subject: Health (Page 20)

I had some eyeglasses… I was walking down the street when suddenly the prescription ran out.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Health

Doctors are men who prescribe medicines of which they know little, to cure diseases of which they know less, in human beings of whom they know nothing.

(1694 – 1778) French author, humanist & satirist
Doctors Health

You won’t be surprised that diseases are innumerable… count the cooks.

(54 BC – 39 AD) Roman orator
Food/Drink Health

You might be a redneck if… you have used a bar stool as a walker.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Health People

If men could get pregnant,abortion would be a sacrament.

(1916 – 2000) American lawyer & activist
Health Men People

People who say you're just as old as you feel are all wrong, fortunately.

(1925 – ) columnist & journalist
Age Health People

I think it would be interesting if old people got anti-Alzheimer's disease where they slowly began to recover other people's lost memories.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Health Memory People

I have been laid up with intentional flu.

(1879 – 1974) film producer
Health Misspokements

The easiest time to add insult to injury is when you’re signing somebody’s cast.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Health Insults

Psychology: The care of the id by the odd.

Definitions Health Science/Weather

My health is good enough about the shoulders.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager
Health Intelligence

A newspaper is a circulating library with high blood pressure.

(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist
Communication Health Reading/Writing

Tranquilizers work only if you follow the advice on the bottle – keep away from children.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Children Health

The less we know about a disease, the more medicines are available to treat it.

Health Murphy’s Laws

Some hospitals are so crowded that the only way you can get in is by accident.


Health Wordplay

The easiest time to add insult to injury is when you're signing somebody's cast.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Health Insults Situations

London: A place you go to get bronchitis.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist
Definitions Health Places

Nineteen percent of doctors say that they'd be able to give their patients a lethal injection. But they also went on to say that the patient would have to be really, really behind on payments.

(1950 – ) comedian & television host
Doctors Health Money

Doctors bury their mistakes, but mine are still on scholarship.

(1922 – 2002) American college basketball coach
Doctors School

My doctor told me I shouldn’t work out until I’m in better shape.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Activities Doctors Exercise Health

Hypochondria is the one disease I haven’t got.

Health