Subject: Intelligence (Page 27)

I see the pain on your face when you say the word intellectual, because it has so many syllables in it.

(1939 – ) Australian author, critic, broadcaster, poet & memoirist
Insults Intelligence

All you need is ignorance and confidence and the success is sure.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Intelligence Success

Only dull people are brilliant at breakfast.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Eating Food/Drink Intelligence

We often think the way Gracie talks, but we pride ourselves that we never talk the way Gracie thinks.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Communication Individuals People Speech Thinking

If brains was lard, Jethro couldn't grease a pan.

(1908 – 2003) American actor & dancer
Intelligence TV/Movie Quotes

Today it takes more brains and effort to make out the income tax form than it does to make the income.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Government Intelligence Money Taxes

Intelligence tests are biased toward the literate.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Intelligence Reading/Writing

My grandfather’s a little forgetful, but he likes to give me advice; one day, he took me aside and left me there.

American comedian
Intelligence Memory Relationships

Forget that guy – just illiterate him from your memory.

Malaprops Memory

Henry James has a mind – a sensibility – so fine that no mere idea could ever penetrate it.

(1888 – 1965) British (US-born) critic, dramatist & poet
Insults Intelligence

He doesn't know the meaning of the word 'fear;’ of course, there are lots of words he doesn't know the meaning of.

college football coach
Insults Intelligence

The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.

American entrepreneur & author
Intelligence Marriage Memory Wives

I wonder what goes through [your dog’s] mind when he sees us peeing in his water bowl.

American writer
Animals Dogs Intelligence Thinking

His speeches left the impression of an army of pompous phrases moving over the landscape in search of an idea.

(1863 – 1941) U.S. senator (California) & U.S. Secretary of the Treasury
Communication Ideas Speech

One thing in which the sexes are equal is in thinking that they're not.

(1908 – 1980) businessman, humorist
Intelligence Men People Women

Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory.

(1875 – 1965) German/French theologian, organist, philosopher, physician & medical missionary
Emotions Happiness Health Intelligence Memory

What sane person could live in this world and not be crazy?

(1929 – ) American writer
Intelligence Life Mind

Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Ideas Things

What are you afraid they're gonna do – sneak in and redecorate the place?

comedian & television writer
Characteristics Intelligence

A little ignorance can go a long way.

Intelligence Murphy’s Laws Stupidity

Nothing is more dangerous than an idea, when a man has only one idea.

Émile Chartier (1868 – 1951) French philosopher, journalist & pacifist
Ideas Intelligence