Subject: Intelligence (Page 3)

If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.

Education Intelligence Money Murphy’s Laws School Stupidity

It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious.

Fools Intelligence Murphy’s Laws

The fellow who laughs last may laugh best, but he gets the reputation of being very slow-witted.

(1908 – 1997) German-born teacher, academic & humorist
Emotions Fools Intelligence Laughter

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

Memory Proverbs

My parents never understood me; they were Japanese.

(1919 – 1985) Scottish comedian & actor
Family Parents Self Understanding

Education: Forcing abstract ideas into concrete heads.

Definitions Ideas Intelligence

I would like to take you seriously, but to do so would be an affront to your intelligence.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Intelligence

He knows so little and knows it so fluently.

(1873 – 1945) a Pulitzer Prize-winning novelist
Insults Intelligence

Although it is not true that all conservatives are stupid people, it is true that most stupid people are conservative.

(1806-1873) British philosopher
Beliefs Government Intelligence Opinion Stupidity

When stupidity is a sufficient explanation, there is no need to have recourse to any other.

Intelligence Murphy’s Laws Stupidity

It's a wise man who profits by his own experience, but it's a good deal wiser one who lets the rattlesnake bite the other fellow.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Animals Intelligence Wisdom

They couldn’t pour piss out of a boot if you wrote the instructions on the heel.

(1908 – 1973) 36th U.S. president
Insults Intelligence

 Statistics always remind me of the fellow who drowned in a river where the average depth was only three feet.

college football coach
Facts Intelligence Sports

Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory.

(1875 – 1965) German/French theologian, organist, philosopher, physician & medical missionary
Emotions Happiness Health Intelligence Memory

Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.

Intelligence Murphy’s Laws Stupidity

Golf appeals to the idiot in us and the child; just how childlike golf players become is proven by their frequent inability to count past five.

(1932 – 2009) author, poet & critic
Golf Honesty Insults Intelligence Sports

I think there is only one quality worse than hardness of heart and that is softness of head.

(1858 – 1919) 26th U.S. president
Characteristics Intelligence Stupidity

He that has a secret to hide should not only hide it but hide that he has it to hide.

(1795 – 1881) Scottish philosopher, writer, historian & teacher
Intelligence

Fools rush in and get the best seats.

Fools Proverbs

I can’t give you brains, but I can give you a diploma.

(1890 – 1949) American actor
Intelligence TV/Movie Quotes

If brains were all that important in a beauty contest, you could enter wearing a Hefty Bag.

(1946 – 1994) writer & humorist
Appearance Body Intelligence