Subject: People (Page 117)

A woman’s mind is cleaner than a man’s; she changes it more often.

(1863 – 1935) British-born American writer, artist & illustrator
People Women

Marijuana should be licensed and kept out of the hands of teenagers; it's too good for them.

(1927 – 1997) Am. comedian & satirist notable for mock presidential campaign
Activities People

Many a man is saved from being a thief by finding everything locked up.

(1853 – 1937) journalist, writer & editor
Crime Government Law People

Elaine: Ugh, I hate people.

Jerry: Yeah, they’re the worst.

(1954 – ) comedian & television actor
People TV/Movie Quotes

He who hesitates is last.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
People

Those people who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.

(1920 – 1992) American science and science fiction author & professor
Intelligence People

It's so unfair because I go out of my way not to treat women like objects and end up having to treat objects like women.

stand-up comedian
People Sex Things Women

He’s done everybody’s act; he’s a parrot with skin on.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
Insults People

Americans can eat garbage, provided you sprinkle it liberally with ketchup, mustard, chili sauce, Tabasco sauce, cayenne pepper, or any other condiment which destroys the original flavor of the dish.

(1891 – 1980) novelist & painter
Eating Food/Drink People Places

It is impossible to defeat an ignorant man in argument.

(1863 – 1941) U.S. senator (California) & U.S. Secretary of the Treasury
Intelligence People Stupidity

Hell may have a worse climate but undoubtedly the company is spritelier.

(1876 – 1944) American author, humorist & columnist
People Places Situations

Half the people in Hollywood are dying to be discovered and the other half are afraid they will be.

(1878 – 1954) American actor of stage, screen & radio
Hollywood People Places

Woman's Rule of Thumb: If it has tires or testicles, you're going to have trouble with it.

Men People

He looked at me as if I was a side dish he hadn’t ordered.

(1885 – 1933) columnist & writer
People

My general appearance, and especially my face, have always been a source of depression to me.

(1878 – 1931) Irish artist
Appearance People Self

A toastmaster is a man who eats a meal he doesn’t want so he can get up and tell a lot of stories he doesn’t remember to people who’ve already heard them.

(1898 – 1981) actor, singer, songwriter & movie producer
Communication Occupations People Work

Friends: There are two kinds of friends – those who are around when you need them, and those who are around when they need you.

Definitions Friends People

For guys, sex is like going to a restaurant, and no matter what you order off that menu, you walk out of there going, ‘Damn, that was good!'

(1964 – ) American writer, stand-up comedian, actress, television host
Men People Sex

Man has his will, but woman has her way.

(1809 – 1894) physician, professor, lecturer & author
Men People Women

Cannibals are not vegetarians, they are humanitarians.

Food/Drink People

In high school, I was the class comedian as opposed to the class clown; the difference is the class clown is the guy who drops his pants at the football game, the class comedian is the guy who talked him into it.

(1948 – ) comedian, actor, writer, producer & film director
Education School Self