Subject: People (Page 83)

Old maids sweeten their tea with scandal.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
People

Men mourn for what they have lost; women for what they ain't got.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Men People Women

If she gets a hot flash and walks into a cold room, she can make it rain.

American actor & comedian
Health People Women

A friend who is near and dear may in time become as useless as a relative.

(1866 – 1944) American writer, newspaper columnist, playwright & humorist
Friends People Relationships

Four of us slept in the one bed; when it got cold, mother threw on another brother.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Cold People Self

You may admire a girl's curves on the first introduction, but the second meeting shows up new angles.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Appearance Body Girls Women

Hey, I don’t get respect from anyone… why, American Airlines thanked me for flying United.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Insults People Self

My husband's penis is like a semicolon… I can't remember what it's for and I never use it anyway.

British comedian
Family People Sex

Every time I breathe, they like, ‘Why you breathing so hard?'…So I can live!


Appearance Fat Self

Most hard-boiled people are half-baked.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter
Intelligence People

If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again; it was probably worth it.

Beliefs Money People

Even a sixty-year-old man with no arms thinks he could play in the Super Bowl if he had to.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Age Characteristics Men People Sports

Gold Digger: A girl who will date any man that can pass the asset test.

Definitions Money People Women

Women are as old as they feel and men are old when they lose their feelings.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Age Men Old People Women

Oaf: An old fashioned jerk.

Definitions People

We may lay down a maxim, that when a nation abounds in physicians it grows thin of people.

(1672 – 1719) English essasyist, poet & politician
Doctors Health Murphy’s Laws People

Nobody ever lost a dollar by underestimating the taste of the American public.

(1810 – 1891) American politician, showman & businessman
Characteristics Money People

Men are simple things; they can survive a whole weekend with only three things: beer, boxer shorts and batteries for the remote control.

Diana Jordan American humorist & author
Beer Men People

You might be a redneck if… your home has more miles on it than your car.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Autos People Rednecks

A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools.

(1952 – 2001) English writer, dramatist, & musician
Fools Intelligence Mistakes People Problems

Men, I feel, are like wine – before buying, a real connoisseur takes a small sip, and spits them out.

(1936 – 1993) British writer
Men People Relationships