Author: Anonymous Page 146

My doctor stays true to his Apothecary Oath.

Malaprops

Quality Control: The process of testing one out of every 1,000 units coming off a production line to make sure that at least one out of 100 works.

Definitions

Realtor: A man with lots to sell.

Definitions Occupations Wordplay

Grass: The green stuff that wilts in the yard and flourishes in the garden.

Definitions

Bigamist: A man who keeps two himself.

Definitions Marriage

Char: Common method of cooking over a campfire.

Cooking Definitions

There's light at the end of this rainbow.

Mixed metaphors

Do you follow where I'm coming from?

Mixed metaphors Understanding

She grabbed the bull by the horns, and ran with it.

Mixed metaphors

Cravings: An excuse to gluttonize your way through pregnancy.

Definitions

Chicken guarding the hen house

Mixed metaphors

He's the pineapple of politeness.

Malaprops

“The insect in William’s hand is wearing a yarmulka!” said Tom jubilantly.

Tom Swifties

It's so far removed, it goes right over our heads.

Mixed metaphors

She is so fat… when she takes a shower her feet don't get wet.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

Amen: The only part of a prayer that everyone knows.

Definitions

History: The version of past events that people have decided to agree upon.

Definitions History Time

Actions speak louder than words — but not so often.

Communication

Ugly as stump full of spiders.

Appearance Expressions Ugly

We should go metric every inch of the way.

Language Science/Weather

Growing up the trellis were pink and yellow concubines.

Malaprops