Author: Anonymous Page 157

Adolescence: When a boy has reached the state when he knows why a strapless gown must be held up, but doesn’t understand how.

Age Definitions

She is so fat… when she takes a shower her feet don't get wet.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

“Nay!” said Tom hoarsely.

Tom Swifties

If you try to eat this elephant all in one bite, you’re going to have a hell of an indigestion.

Mixed metaphors

Retraction: The revision of an insult to give it wider circulation.

Definitions Insults

We’re on the same page length.

Mixed metaphors

“This salmon is excellent,” said Tom superficially.

Tom Swifties

Jury: A body of twelve men selected to decide which of the contestants has the better lawyer.

Definitions Government Law Lawyers

She flew off the deep end.

Mixed metaphors

He’s got more dollars than cents.

Expressions Intelligence

But I don't have an intricate relationship with it.

Malaprops

Autobiography: An I-witness account

Books Communication Definitions People Self

Committee: A group which succeeds in getting something done only when it consists of three members, one of whom happens to be sick and the other absent.

Definitions

Taking over the reigns of leadership.

Malaprops

If there’s ever a price on your head – take it.

Insults

There is no pancreas to the whole world's problems.

Malaprops

Fishing: A jerk at one end of the line waiting for a jerk at the other end.

Activities Definitions

Whistle: Wind having a narrow escape.

Definitions

The squeeky wheel gets the worm.

Mixed metaphors

Let's do this in one foul sweep.

Malaprops

John Hurt looks like Joan of Arc, after she's burnt at stake.

Appearance Insults