Author: Anonymous Page 2

Exercise: The joy of flex.

Activities Definitions Exercise

Diaper: A bum wrap.

Definitions

Internship: A sleepless ordeal imposed on young M.D.’s for the purpose of weeding out the weak and infirm among them, and eroding the health of the survivors sufficiently to ensure better empathy in the years to come.

Definitions Doctors

Alarm Clock: Something that makes people rise and whine.

Definitions Wordplay

He was in cardial arrest.

Health Malaprops

Diet: A system of starving yourself to death so you can live a little longer.

Definitions Food/Drink

”..,” said Tom blankly.

Tom Swifties

Artist’s Model: A girl unsuited for her work.

Definitions

Jury: A group of 12 people, who, having lied to the judge about their health, hearing, and business engagements, have failed to fool him.

Definitions

Bachelor: A man who can get out of bed from either side.

Definitions Marriage Men People

Hallucination: A belief owned exclusively by one person.

Definitions

Sinker: Lead weight attached to the end of a length of fishing line to facilitate the speedy disposal of unwanted lures.

Activities Definitions Things

Optometrist: A person you have to see.

Definitions Doctors

Demagogue: A man who preaches doctrines he knows to be untrue to men he knows to be idiots.

Definitions

Photostatic memory

Malaprops

“Here is your hotdog,” said Tom with relish.

Tom Swifties

“I work at a bank,” said Tom tellingly.

Tom Swifties

It is so hot… potatoes cook underground.

Exaggerations Heat Science/Weather

Philosophy: A study which enables man to be unhappy more intelligently.

Definitions Happiness Intelligence

“That’s more or less correct,” Tom said roughly.

Tom Swifties

Out of the mouths of babes comes cereal.

Children Family Wordplay