Subject: Appearance (Page 50)

Fashion: Something that goes out of style as soon as most people have one.

Appearance Clothing Definitions

Beauty may be skin deep, but ugly goes clear to the bone.

(1922 – 1991) American comedian
Appearance Ugly

When you’re gay every party is a bad sweater party.

(1970 –) American stand-up comedian
Appearance Clothing

Damn your nose, madam… there’s no end to it!

(1727 – 1788) English painter
Appearance Body Insults

The problem with women in an orchestra is that if they’re attractive it will upset my players and if they’re not it will upset me.

(1879 – 1961) English conductor
Appearance Entertainment Music People Women

The worst thing about having a weak chin is it takes me about three to four hours to change a pillow case.

comedian
Appearance Body

She was a brunette by birth, but a blonde by habit.

(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist
Appearance Characteristics

As soon as they get married, they all get these big old guts on them; that's not from drinking beer – that's from swallowing pride.

stand-up comedian
Alcohol Body Fat Husbands Marriage Men People

I had a girlfriend that was so fat she had her own postal code.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Body Fat Girlfriends People Women

Beauty, to me, is about being comfortable in your own skin; that, or a kick-ass red lipstick.

(1972 – ) American actress
Appearance

Strapless Gown: A compromise between the law of decency and the law of gravity.

Clothing Definitions

She was so tall if she fell down she would be halfway home.

Appearance Body Expressions

Adult: One who has ceased to grow vertically, but not horizontally.

writer
Age Appearance Body People

I always take my wife morning tea in my pajamas, but is she grateful?… no, she says she'd rather have it in a cup.

(1926 – 1984) English comedian
Characteristics Clothing

Beware of all enterprises that require new clothes.

(1817 – 1862) American author, poet, philosopher,, naturalist & historian
Appearance Clothing

He should know better than that. He knows I only drink scotch.

Canadian professional hockey goalie
Body Hockey Sports

I've never been an intellectual, but I have this look.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Appearance Intelligence

The trouble with nude dancing is that not everything stops when the music stops.

(1909 – 1986) Australian dancer, actor, theater director & choreographer
Body Dance Entertainment

She looked like a huge ball of fur on two well-developed legs.

(1904 – 1973) English novelist & biographer
Appearance

I have good looking kids; thank goodness my wife cheats on me.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Children Family Wives

Cockroaches and socialites are the only things that can stay up all night and eat anything.

(1916 – 1997) newspaper journalist
Appearance Body Fat