Subject: Appearance (Page 50)

Falsies: Making mountains out of molehills.

Appearance Clothing Definitions

There were times my pants were so thin I could sit on a dime and tell if it was heads or tails.

(1900 – 1967) American film actor
Clothing Money Poverty

He is so fat… he had his own area code.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

I’d like to borrow [Cassius] Clay’s body for 48 hours. There are three guys I’d like to beat up and four women I’d like to make love to.

(1919 – 1998) American sportswriter
Appearance Body Boxing Sports

Most of the people who came for dancing lessons had Rumba ambitions and minuet bodies.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Appearance Body Dance People

Esther, warn me before you come in so I have a chance to cover all of the mirrors!.

(1922 – 1991) American comedian
Appearance Insults

Why does everything you wear look like it’s bearing a grudge, darling?

(1958 – ) English comedian, screenwriter & actress
Appearance Clothing TV/Movie Quotes

He is so fat… people jump over him rather than go around.

Appearance Exaggerations Fat

Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew Up

Age Appearance Old Signs

A celebrity is anyone who looks like he spends more than two hours working on his hair.

(1945 – ) comedian, actor, writer, playwright & musician
Appearance Hair People

Nowadays, a balanced diet is when every McNugget weighs the same!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Appearance Body Fat

I dress for women… I undress for men.

(1931 – ) American actress
Appearance Body Clothing Men Sex

Her hat is a creation that will never go out of style; it will look ridiculous year after year.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
Appearance Clothing Insults

Looks like he’s been sortin’ wildcats.

Appearance Expressions

Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Appearance Clothing Science/Weather

He’s even smaller in real life than he is on the track.

(1926 – ) English sports commentator
Appearance Colemanballs Misspokements

High heels were invented by a woman who had been kissed on the forehead.

(1890 – 1957) author & journalist
Appearance Body Clothing Women

Skeleton: A bunch of bones with the person scraped off.

Body Definitions

Tube Dress: A dress which is an extended boob tube.

Clothing Definitions

A four-hundred-dollar suit on him would look like socks on a rooster.

(1895 – 1960) American politician
Appearance Clothing Insults

He’s so skinny, his pants had only one back pocket.

Appearance Body Expressions