Subject: Beliefs (Page 20)

You get fifteen Democrats in a room, and you get twenty opinions.

(1940 – ) U.S. senator (Vermont)
Beliefs Opinion Politicians

How can I believe in God when only last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Beliefs Body God Things

When I was a little boy, they called me a liar, but now that I am grown up, they call me a writer.

(1902 – 1991) Polish Jewish American author
Communication Lies Occupations Reading/Writing Work

You only lie to two people in your life: your girlfriend and the police.

(1937 – ) American actor
Characteristics Honesty Lies

In modern business it is not the crook who is to be feared most, it is the honest man who doesn't know what he is doing.

(1874 – 1962) American industrialist, lawyer & diplomat
Honesty Work

As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.

Education Religion School

The Bible says gays aren’t natural; what? … and a talking snake is?!

(1980 – ) English comedian, television and radio presenter & actor
Beliefs People

Evangelist: A bearer of good tidings who gives us the good news and assures us of our own salvation and damnation of our neighbors.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Beliefs Definitions Religion

It is bad luck to be superstitious.

Beliefs

Religion is basically guilt with different holidays.

American stand-up comedian, television writer & actor
Beliefs Religion

I find that the further I go back, the better things were, whether they happened or not.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Characteristics Past Situations Truth

My family wasn’t very religious; on Hanukkah, they had a menorah on a dimmer.

(1947 – ) comedian & actor
Beliefs Religion

Man will occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of the time he will pick himself up and continue on.

Characteristics Murphy’s Laws Truth

For every proverb that so confidently asserts its little bit of wisdom, there is usually an equal and opposite proverb that contradicts it.

Beliefs Murphy’s Laws Proverbs

Beware of the half truth… you may have gotten hold of the wrong half.

Beliefs Honesty Truth

I don’t always know what I’m talking about but I know I’m right.

(1942 – ) American boxing champion
Beliefs People Self

God is in my head, but the devil is in my pants.

(1925 – 2013) comedian & actor
Beliefs God

Don’t ya know it’s bad luck to keep icrons in a Christian home?

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Malaprops Religion

Facts are stubborn things.

(1911 – 2004) 40th U.S. president & actor
Beliefs Facts

Pop up your hand if you like participating in market research.


Beliefs Opinion

If you’re caught on a golf course during a storm and are afraid of lightning, hold up a 1-iron; not even God can hit a 1-iron.

(1942 – ) American professional golfer
God Golf Sports