Subject: Education (Page 3)

I am not young enough to know everything.

(1860 – 1937) Scottish author, dramatist (creator of Peter Pan)
Age Education Intelligence Young

I quit school in the sixth grade because of pneumonia; not because I had it, but because I couldn’t spell it.


(1919 – 1990) American boxing champion
Education Health Learning School

Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Education Food/Drink School

Philosophy is to the real world as masturbation is to sex.

(1818 – 1883) German philosopher, economist, sociologist & socialist
Education Intelligence Sex

Genitals are a great distraction to scholarship.

(1932 – 2000) English author & academic
Education Learning Sex

University: A modern school where football is taught.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Education Football Language School

You never catch on until after the test.

Education Murphy’s Laws School Understanding

Graduation speeches were invented largely in the belief that college students should never be released into the world until they have been properly sedated.

(1948 – ) American cartoonist (Doonesbury)
Communication School Speech

Quite frankly, teachers are the only profession that teach our children.

(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician
Education Misspokements Occupations

1. The more general the title of a course, the less you will learn from it. 2. The more specific a title is, the less you will be able to apply it.

Education Murphy’s Laws School

My recipe for bad grades: don't study.

(1964 – ) American stand-up comedian, actor & voice actor
Education School

In high school, I was the class comedian as opposed to the class clown; the difference is the class clown is the guy who drops his pants at the football game, the class comedian is the guy who talked him into it.

(1948 – ) comedian, actor, writer, producer & film director
Education School Self

Soap and education are not as sudden as a massacre, but they are more deadly in the long run.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Education

Democracy means government by the uneducated, while aristocracy means government by the badly educated.

(1874 – 1936) English author & mystery novelist
Democracy Education Government

Dancing is a wonderful training for girls, it’s the first way you learn to guess what a man is going to do before he does it.

(1890 – 1957) author & journalist
Activities Dance Education Girls Men People Women

My recipe for bad grades: don't study.

(1964 – ) American stand-up comedian, actor & voice actor
Education School

Drugs have taught an entire generation of Americans the metric system.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
Activities America Drugs Education People

 I want a school my football team can be proud of.

(1905 – 1998) botanist, author & University of Oklahoma president
Education Football Misspokements School Sports

Describing her first day back in grade school after a long absence, a teacher said, it was like trying to hold 35 corks under water at the same time.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Education School

I had just received my degree in Calcium Anthropology… the study of milkmen.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Education

A learned blockhead is a greater blockhead than an ignorant one.

(1706 – 1790) American statesman, author, scientist & inventor
Education Fools Intelligence Stupidity