Subject: Food/Drink (Page 32)

You might be a redneck if… a seven course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Beer Food/Drink People Rednecks

[My mother] is the only woman in the world who makes gravy with the Rolaids crushed right into it.

(1937 – 2014) American co-host of radio show “Car Talk”
Cooking Family Food/Drink Mothers

I like fruit baskets because it gives you the ability to mail someone a piece of fruit without appearing insane.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Food/Drink

Someone asked me recently – what would I rather give up, food or sex; neither! … I'm not falling for that one again, Wife!

(1980 – ) English comedian & novelist
Food/Drink Marriage Sex

Be sure and put some of those neutrons on it.

professional baseball player
Food/Drink Malaprops

The speaker with the most monotonous voice speaks after the big meal.

Communication Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws Speech

The perfect lover is one who turns into a pizza at 4:00 a.m.

(1926 – 1999) actor, comedian & female impersonator
Food/Drink People

Men have two emotions: hungry and horny; if you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.

Food/Drink Men People Sex

My mother was the worst cook ever; in school, when we traded lunches, I had to throw in an article of clothing.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Clothing Cooking Family Food/Drink Mothers

Her cooking is the missionary position of cooking… that is how everybody starts.

(1915 – 2010) Hungarian-born food critic
Cooking Food/Drink

Life is too short to stuff a mushroom.

Food/Drink Life Murphy’s Laws Time

I tried cocaine to lose weight… it just made me eat faster.

(1953 – ) American comedian & actor
Activities Appearance Body Drugs Eating Fat

In Scotland the forbidden fruit is fruit.

(1973 – ) English writer & stand-up comedian
Food/Drink Places

I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they’ve always worked for me.

(1937 – 2005) journalist & author
Alcohol Drugs Life Self

You might be a redneck if… you think a turtleneck is a key ingredient for soup.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Food/Drink People Rednecks

You might be a redneck if…… you think that Dom Perignon is a mafia leader.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Food/Drink People

Woody, next time you order beer, be more specific than “lots.”

(1947) is an American actor, author & producer
Beer TV/Movie Quotes

You say potato, I say vodka.

(1958 – ) American actress & singer
Alcohol Food/Drink TV/Movie Quotes

Cookin’ With Coolio

Book Titles Cooking Food/Drink

My husband says I feed him like he's a god: every meal is a burnt offering.

(1951 – ) American stand-up comic & actress
Cooking Food/Drink

If you find an Australian indoors, it’s a fair bet that he will have a glass in his hand.

(1942 – ) British politician
Food/Drink People Places