Subject: Science/Weather (Page 4)

Getting an inch of snow is like winning 10 cents in the lottery.

(1955 – ) cartoonist (Calvin and Hobbes)
Science/Weather

Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.

Definitions Science/Weather Taxes

I wouldn't touch the metric measuring system with a 3.048m pole.

Language Science/Weather

We believe that electricity exists, because the electric company keeps sending us bills for it, but we cannot figure out how it travels inside wires.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Money Science/Weather

It was so cold… flashers were just describing themselves.

Cold Exaggerations Science/Weather

What goes up must come down… but don't expect it to come down where you can find it.

(1939 – ) comedian, actress, writer & producer
Science/Weather

1. An object in motion will be heading in the wrong direction.
2. An object at rest will be in the wrong place.

Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather Things

There's no place like home.com!

Science/Weather

It is easier to square the circle than to get round a mathematician.

(1806 – 1871) English mathematician
Occupations Science/Weather Work

I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.

Autos Science/Weather Situations Things

It was a dry rain.

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager
Science/Weather Yogi-isms

Autumn is the most beautiful time of the year to the person who has no leaves to rake.

Science/Weather

My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
People Science/Weather

It was so cold… the politicians had their hands in their own pockets.

Cold Exaggerations Science/Weather

You know you're old if they have discontinued your blood type.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Age Health Old Science/Weather

It is so dry… I caught a catfish that had ticks on him.

Exaggerations Science/Weather

How come when you mix water and flour together you get glue…and then you add eggs and sugar and you get cake?… where does the glue go?"

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Cooking Food/Drink Science/Weather

I have the oldest typewriter in the world; it types in pencil.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Communication Science/Weather Things

The only way I'd worry about the weather is if it snows on our side of the field and not on theirs.

Los Angeles Dodgers’ manager
Baseball Science/Weather Sports

I can levitate birds… no one cares.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Animals Science/Weather

If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?

(1908 – 2002) comedian, radio & television actor
Body Mothers Science/Weather