Author: Anonymous Page 152

It doesn't take rocket appliances.

Intelligence Malaprops

Grass: The green stuff that wilts in the yard and flourishes in the garden.

Definitions

Church: Man’s effort to keep a roof over God’s head.

Beliefs Definitions God

Psychology: The care of the id by the odd.

Definitions Health Science/Weather

After looking at the bill for my operation, I understand why doctors wear masks in the operating room.

Doctors Health

Nymphomania: A disease where the patient enjoys being bedridden.

Definitions Sex

Upper Crust: People stuck together by their dough.

Definitions Money People

Minor Operation: One performed on someone else.

Definitions Health

Bliss: Having no idea what is really happening.

Definitions

You can always tell luck from ability by its duration.

Success

Nun: A creature of habit.

Definitions Religion

Phillips Screwdriver: Used  to round off Phillips screw heads.

Definitions Things

Keep your nose up!

Mixed metaphors

Luxury Resort: One where a waiter expects a $2 tip when he presents a $6 bill for serving a $3.50 bottle of beer.

Definitions

“We must hurry,” said Tom Swiftly.

Tom Swifties

I'm not the kind of person who wears his heart up his sleeve.

Malaprops

Where would we be without rhetorical questions?

Communication

It's like a wizard in sheep's clothing.

Mixed metaphors

Aftermath: The horrible headache you have when you’ve finished the algebra test.

Definitions

Accordion: A pleated bagpipe.

Definitions Entertainment Music Things

My husband and I have a monotonous relationship.

Malaprops Relationships