Author: Anonymous Page 152

Scissors: A piece maker.

Definitions Things

Pedal stool.

Malaprops

He's a pretty sharp cookie.

Mixed metaphors

“I wouldn’t mind going with you to the tennis match,” she said gamely.

Tom Swifties

Don’t make a long story short just so you can tell another one.

Communication Conversation Speech

If there is a substitute for brains it has to be silence.

Intelligence

Puttering: Woman’s word for man’s work.

Definitions

She grabbed the bull by the horns, and ran with it.

Mixed metaphors

Couldn't scratch his ass if he had a tiger in both hands.

Expressions Intelligence Stupidity

Argument: A discussion where two people try to get the last word in first

Definitions

The only people who listen to both sides of a family quarrel are the next-door neighbors.

People

Houseplants: Vegetable companions.

Definitions

Internship: A sleepless ordeal imposed on young M.D.’s for the purpose of weeding out the weak and infirm among them, and eroding the health of the survivors sufficiently to ensure better empathy in the years to come.

Definitions Doctors

Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories.

Intelligence Memory Past

During exams you are permitted to look down for inspiration and up in exasperation, but you are not permitted to look side to side for information.

Education

It was so cold… we had lunch at the "Greasy Spoon" – just for the heartburn.

Cold Exaggerations Science/Weather

He is so fat… he's on both sides of the family.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

Y Chromosome: The cause of virility, war, baldness, hockey, sex crimes, clever inventions and a disinclination to ask for directions when lost.

Definitions Men

Alcohol: A liquid good for preserving everything except secrets.

Alcohol Definitions Food/Drink

A leopard can't change his stripes.

Mixed metaphors

Fobia: The fear of misspelled words.

Communication Definitions Reading/Writing