Author: Anonymous Page 152

“I couldn’t believe there were 527,986 bees in the swarm!” Tom recounted.

Tom Swifties

Isn’t it strange that the same people who laugh at gypsy fortune-tellers take economists seriously.

Beliefs

Marital Freedom: The liberty that allows a husband to do exactly that which his wife pleases.

Definitions Marriage

Brassiere: A bust stop.

Clothing Definitions

So crosseyed, she could look at her own head.

Appearance Expressions

… create a little dysentery in the ranks.

Malaprops

A veritable land mine of valuable information.

Malaprops

That's the whole kettle of fish in a nutshell.

Mixed metaphors

Election: When the air is full of speeches and vice versa

Communication Definitions Elections/Voting Government Speech

He’s so ugly his mother had to borrow a baby to take to church.

Appearance Expressions Ugly

Diplomat: A person who thinks twice before saying nothing.

Definitions

He's as crooked as a barrel of snakes.

Expressions

He is so fat… he had his own area code.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial costs and blamed it on the high cost of living.

Money

Chickens: The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead.

Animals Definitions Eating Food/Drink

Love: The triumph of imagination over intelligence.

Definitions Emotions Love

Gossip: One with a keen sense of rumor.

Definitions

… since God's dog was a pup

Expressions Past Time

Whoa!: A brake for horses.

Animals Definitions

If worse comes to shove

Mixed metaphors

Girdle: Accessory after the fat.

Appearance Clothing Definitions Wordplay