Author: Anonymous Page 45

“Bad marksmanship,” the hunter groused.

Tom Swifties

Unabated: A fishhook without a worm.

Definitions

This will help us to know that we are covering all of the gamuts.

Mixed metaphors

Eulogy: Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration to be dead.

Death Definitions

“Don’t you know my name?” asked Tom swiftly.

Tom Swifties

I am sure I have done everything in my power since I exploded the affair.

Malaprops

A plastic surgeon increases your face value.

Appearance

Adverse: Promotional jingle.

Definitions

“I’ve run out of wool,” said Tom, knitting his brow.

Tom Swifties

Antique: Something too old to be anything but too expensive.

Definitions Things

Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred.

Marriage

I would not trust him with a ten foot pole.

Mixed metaphors

Marriage: The difference between painting the town and painting the back porch.

Definitions Marriage

Amateur Athlete: An athlete who is paid in cash, not by check..

Definitions

He used to kiss her on her lips, but it's all over now.

Situations

Genius: One who can do almost anything except make a living.

Definitions Intelligence

Violinist: A high-strung musician.

Definitions Entertainment Music Wordplay

Geologist: Fault finder.

Definitions Wordplay

Disrespect: Giving someone half of the peace sign without suggesting they’re number one.

Definitions

Heir Fare: Executor’s fee.

Definitions Wordplay

Businessman: One who talks golf all morning at the office, and business all afternoon on the links.

Definitions Golf Occupations