Author: Anonymous Page 45

“Don’t add too much water,” said Tom with great concentration.

Tom Swifties

If she was cast as Lady Godiva the horse would steal the show.

Acting Entertainment Insults

The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.

Proverbs Situations Time

“I like fuzzy bunnies”, gurgled Tom acutely.

Tom Swifties

She plummeted the deaths of inequity.

Malaprops

College: A four-year period when parents are permitted access to the telephone.

Definitions Education School

Beer math is 2 beers times 37 men equals 49 cases.

Beer Science/Weather

She has a four-pocket backend.

Appearance Expressions Fat

It is so hot… no shirt, no pants, no problem.

Exaggerations Heat Science/Weather

“For goodness sakes, use a broom,” Tom bristled.

Tom Swifties

You hit the nail on the dot.

Mixed metaphors

Middle Age: That period when a man begins to shed his hair, his teeth, and his illusions.

Age Definitions

Brilliant sunshine rained down on the city.

Misspokements Mixed metaphors

“I wonder if there’s a number between seven and nine,” said Tom considerately.

Tom Swifties

If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again; it was probably worth it.

Beliefs Money People

“Now I have the tools to chop down that tree,” said Tom with a heavy accent.

Tom Swifties

We will burn that horse when we get there.

Mixed metaphors

Gossip: One with a keen sense of rumor.

Definitions

After all is said and done, more is said than done.

Communication Speech

Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everyone believes he has the biggest piece.

Definitions

Twins: Infant replay.

Children Definitions Family