Subject: Appearance » Body (Page 4)

I was dating this girl once for a few weeks, and the first time she saw my penis, she said, 'Is everything a joke with you?'

(1965 – ) American stand-up comedian, actor, director & author

Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor

He has left his body to science… and science is contesting the will.

(1939 – ) British journalist, comedian, writer & media personality

Blondes make the best victims; they're like virgin snow that shows up the bloody footprints.

(1899 – 1980) English filmmaker & producer

Muscles come and go; flab lasts.

(1915 – 1977) columnist, writer & actor

I have such poor vision I can date anybody.

(1949 – 2016) American comedian & television actor

How easy for those who do not bulge to not overindulge!

(1902 – 1971) American humorist & poet

His head is so big… he has to step into his shirts.

Everything you see, I owe to spaghetti.

(1934 – ) Italian actress

Thirty ways to shape up for summer — number one: eat less; number two: exercise more; number three… What was I talking about? … I’m so hungry right now.

(1970 – ) American stand-up comedian & voice actor

She's so skinny, she has to run around in the shower to get wet.

I am not overweight; I fluctuate between chubby and curvy!

(1979 – ) American actress, comedian & writer

A college jock is someone who minds his build instead of vice versa!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine

He is so fat… his blood type is Ragu.

She is so fat… when she turns around, people throw her a welcome back party.

Reducing: Wishful shrinking.

Adult: One who has ceased to grow vertically, but not horizontally.

writer

Belly: The veranda over the toy shop.

Be true to your teeth and they won't be false to you.

(1926 – 2009) comedian, actor, radio – TV personality & host

A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian

She was known as a two bagger; that’s when a girl is so ugly that you put a bag over your head in case the bag over her head breaks

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor