Subject: Appearance (Page 49)

I think one reason they cal them Relaxed Fit jeans is that Ass the Size of Texas jeans would not sell very well.

Appearance Clothing

May I say Penny, not a lot of women could look as hot as you do with such greasy hair.

(1980 – ) American actor, comedian & musician
Appearance TV/Movie Quotes

Comparing Madonna with Marilyn Monroe is like comparing Raquel Welch with the back of a bus.

George Alan O'Dowd (1961 – ) British singer-songwriter
Appearance Body People

Were a fly to attempt to cross it, it would break its leg.

(1902 – 1986) British biographer, historian & academic
Appearance

The quartermaster has only two sizes, too large and too small.

Clothing Government Military Murphy’s Laws

Horses just naturally have Mohawk haircuts.


Animals Appearance

Sex is a bad thing because it rumples the clothes.

(1929 – 1994) U.S. first lady, wife of John Fitzgerald Kennedy & book editor
Appearance Clothing Sex

Comparing Madonna with Marilyn Monroe is like comparing Raquel Welch with the back of a bus.

George Alan O'Dowd (1961 – ) British singer-songwriter
Appearance Body People

I not only get recognized – I get recognized from behind.

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor
Appearance Body

Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew Up

Age Appearance Old Signs

His face is sagging with tension.

English sports commentator
Appearance Misspokements Sports

Looking fifty is great – if you're sixty.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Age Appearance Old

You’re only has good as your last haircut.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist
Appearance

He has so many muscles he has to make an appointment to move his fingers.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Appearance Body People

She had a face lift, tummy lift, and buttock lift, and now she's two feet off the ground.

comedian
Appearance Body

I’m pale and I’m redheaded. I don’t tan… I stroke.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Appearance Body

Aunt Esther: Who you calling ugly, sucker?

Fred: I’m calling you ugly, I could push our face in some dough and make gorilla cookies.

(1922 – 1991) American comedian
Appearance TV/Movie Quotes Ugly

I have seen my kid struggle into the kitchen in the morning with outfits that need only one accessory… an empty gin bottle.

(1927 – 1996) columnist & humorist
Appearance Children Clothing Family

She has a face like a saint – a St. Bernard!

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Animals Appearance Dogs Ugly

Security here tonight is tighter than some of the faces.

(1955 – ) American comedian, actress, political activist & talk show host
Appearance

You know you're getting old when you start to dress in more than six colors.

(1936 – 2014) American standup comedian, actor & author
Age Appearance Clothing Old