Subject: Beliefs (Page 24)

Secrets with girls, like loaded guns with boys,

Are never valued till they make a noise.

(1754 – 1832) English poet, surgeon & clergyman
Beliefs Facts

Reason has been a part of organized religion, ever since two nudists took dietary advice from a talking snake.

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian
Beliefs Religion

One should never trust a woman who tells one her real age.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Age Characteristics Honesty People Truth Women

The tombstone is about the only thing that can stand upright and lie on its face at the same time.

(1880 – ?) American author
Beliefs Honesty Lies Things

Defame: To lie about another. To tell the truth about another.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language Lies Truth

Do I believe in God? … Let’s say we have a working relationship.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Beliefs God

There hasn’t been a more effeminate Jew in the closet since Anne Frank.

(1965 – 2010) American stand-up comedian & television personality
Beliefs Religion

Truth is stranger than fiction; fiction has to make sense.

(1908 – 1997) German-born teacher, academic & humorist
Characteristics Communication Honesty Truth

If Attila the Hun were alive today, he’d be a drama critic.

(1928 – ) playwright
Beliefs Opinion

The opposite for courage is not cowardice, it is conformity… even a dead fish can go with the flow.

(1943 – ) U.S. agriculture commissioner, columnist, activist & author
Beliefs Characteristics

You can safely assume that you've created God in your own image when it turns out that God hates all the same people you do.

(1954 – ) author
Beliefs Emotions God People

White Supremacists: The most convincing argument against the theory of white racial superiority.

Beliefs Definitions Intelligence People

The person with the least expertise has the most opinions.

Beliefs Murphy’s Laws Opinion

God was left out of the Constitution but was furnished a front seat on the coins of the country.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Beliefs God

Gods like to see an atheist around… gives them something to aim at.

(1948 – ) English novelist
Beliefs God

The only rules comedy can tolerate are those of taste, and the only limitations those of libel.

(1894 – 1961) author, cartoonist & humorist
Characteristics Entertainment Opinion

He lies so bad he hires somebody to call his dogs.

Characteristics Expressions Honesty Lies

Truth is something you stumble into when you think you’re going somewhere else. 

(1942 – 1995) American musician
Beliefs Honesty

A church is a place in which gentlemen who have never been to heaven brag about it to persons who will never get there.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Beliefs Places

We are born naked, wet, and hungry; then things get worse.

Beliefs Murphy’s Laws

Diplomacy: The patriotic art of lying for one’s country.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language Lies