Subject: Time

When you're in love it's the most glorious two and a half days of your life.

(1947 – ) comedian & actor
Emotions Love Time

Opportunity always knocks at the least opportune moment.

Murphy’s Laws Situations Time

Nothing is improbable until it moves into past tense.

(1672 – 1719) English essasyist, poet & politician
Situations Time

To the question: Do married people live longer?

Fields responded: No, it just seems longer.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Life Marriage Time

The length of any meeting is inversely proportional to the length of the agenda for that meeting.

Murphy’s Laws Time

In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Food/Drink Hollywood Marriage Time

It’s not perfect, but to me on balance Right Now is a lot better than the Good Old Days.

(1939 – 2012) Irish writer & speaker
Past Time

There is nothing more permanent than a temporary tax.

Murphy’s Laws Taxes Time

The time spent on any item of the agenda will be in inverse proportion to the sum involved.

Murphy’s Laws Time

If you resolve to give up smoking, drinking and loving you don’t actually live longer; it just seems longer.

(1924 – 2009) English broadcaster, writer, politician & chef
Activities Age Health Time

Faster than a dog's tail in a meat market.

Expressions Time

If you’re early, it’ll be cancelled. If you knock yourself out to be on time, you will have to wait. If you’re late, you will be too late.

Murphy’s Laws Time

If we really learned from our past mistakes, most of us would never get out of bed in the morning.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Education History Learning Mistakes

Everything will go wrong at one time.

Corollary: That time is always when you least expect it.

Murphy’s Laws Problems Time

The secret of eternal youth is arrested development.

(1884 – 1980) author & wit
Age Time

Doing a thing well is often a waste of time.

(1930 – ) American author and billiard player, teacher & commentator
Situations Time

Nostalgia: How long’s that been around?

(1965 – ) English comedian, musician, actor & author
Definitions History Time

I don’t want to say the wait was long, but the guy in front of me was being treated for a musket wound.

(1962 – ) American stand-up comedian, writer, actor & radio host
Health Time

It's always the wrong time of the month.

Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather Sex Time

There can’t be a crisis next week, my schedule is already full.

(1923 – ) German-born diplomat & scholar
Situations Time

The great themes of Canadian history are as follows: Keeping the Americans out, keeping the French in, and trying to get the Natives to somehow disappear.

(1964 – ) Canadian writer & novelist
America Canada History People Places